Dont Lose Your Identity In A Relationship, Identity In A Relationship, losing Identity In A Relationship, Are you Losing your Identity in a Relationsh

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Dont Lose Your Identity In A Relationship

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Posted On - 2011-11-10

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Tags - Dont Lose Your Identity In A Relationship Identity In A Relationship losing Identity In A Relationship Are you Losing your Identity in a Relationship How to Be Yourself in Your Relationship Lives

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Six months ago, every weekend you used to blast heavy metal from your speakers (much to the annoyance of your neighbour) and bang your head all day long music.

During the course of time, life took a U-turn and now you are often seen in malls where you accompany your girl on her never-ending shopping trips. While you were a free-spirited bird a few months and never really bothered too much about what you’re wearing, now your entire wardrobe lies in the hands of your girl.

Are you also noticing such drastic changes in your personality ever since you entered into a relationship? Have you become the ‘Stu’ of ‘The Hangover.’ Do you think you are facing an identity crisis because of the person you love and you are unable to associate with the real you? If this is the case with you, then you fall in the category of ‘relationship chamaleons’ (please pardon us for the language but this is the term psychologists have coined for people who are a victim of such situations).

There are people who tend to pick-up the interests of their partners very easily (either due to some sort of pressure or due to their very nature). They colour their own personality with the one of their partners. Some of them can even continue to put on the personality of their partners even after a breakup. People end up being like their partners and forget where their own interests lied.

Why do People Change Colors?
Well, the obvious answers which crop up in the head are: insecurity and low self-esteem. But there’s more to this issue. Clinical psychologists are of the view that the widely-accepted notion of love is to give unconditionally. One partner starts giving in a lot and tends to become more passive. People start feeling the insecurity of losing their partners and some fear rejection, so they start liking everything their partner happens to like or approve.

Experts also opine that women are more prone to becoming relationship chamaleons. But this does not mean that men never get affected by this. At times, men give in too much to a relationship, not realizing that they are in a dysfunctional one. The relationship reaches a stage where the guy becomes a puppet and the girl becomes a puppeteer who takes him for granted.

It’s important to maintain the sanctity of a relationship. It is a two-way process and it must remain that way.

So What to do if you’ve become a Relationship Chamaleon?

1. It’s important that you regain your lost confidence.
2. Keep reminding yourself that there’s nothing wrong with maintaining your individuality.
3. Love yourself first before loving the other person.
4. Have to courage to talk to your companion if deep down inside your heart you feel that you’ve become a relationship chameleon.
5. The fact that you were a relationship chameleon in your last relationship should not affect your present relationship.

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