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Tips For Getting Over Your Ex

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Posted On - 2011-12-08

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“Once bitten and twice shy, I keep my distance but you still catch my eye”—even George Michael might not have known how many people would empathize with these words as sang he them to the top of music charts, decades ago. Yes, most of us have been there or are still struggling, i.e. to completely getting over our ex. It matters little whether you were dumped or it was a mutual decision to go seek separate directions, the pain and sometimes, the obsession with your ex-love can last for eternity. However, wallowing in her memories can do little good to you and your self-esteem. Here are some tips to help you get over your ex and ease the pain:

1. Acknowledge & Endorse the Separation
Pain You have to address your inner self and blatantly put down the facts, i.e. the relationship is over. Yes, it was beautiful and was supposed to last forever but it didn’t. Contrary to what some might say, don’t fear accepting your heartbreak. Acknowledge it as a fact of life, as a bad experience that will make you wiser as an adult. Don’t lie to yourself about how tortured you feel without her. Don’t escape the pain—instead concede you have an emotional wound, this is the first step towards letting it heal properly.

2. Remember the Reasons
Whether it was her fault or yours, a break-up suggests a certain degree of incompatibility. Since you two couldn’t get along, there had to substantial reasons that led to the split. Remember those reasons every time the memories come back with the usual jolt of anxiety and sadness.

3. Get Closure on Her
Stop putting her on a pedestal. Even if you feel that she was the one for you, the fact remains she didn’t reciprocate such emotions. Talk to yourself and make yourself remember that your happiness isn't solely dependent upon her presence.

4. Stop Casually Contacting Her
Dump her out of Facebook and your email contact lists. The casual, one-liner greetings and reading her status too can spark-off memories that you are trying to get rid of.

5. Exercise Your Grief Away
Not dating her has one plus side—you have more time for yourself. Use this for something that will go a long way in making your feel and look better. Devote an hour daily for exercising with weights. Torturing yourself in the gym can help immensely to lessen the pain of parting with her. Exercising will activate the hormone mechanism in your body that helps to establish an inner feeling of happiness.

6. Avoid Sharing Her Friends
Apart from the backseat of your car and hobbies, you two might have shared work colleagues and friends. Try to avoid meeting the people she continues to hang-out with and limit socializing with friends that seem more sympathetic towards her.

7. Get Rid of Things That Remind of Her
You don’t need to follow the break-up tips shown in sitcoms and actually burn her gifts and mementos. Just dump them in the deepest, darkest corner of the garage where you wouldn’t dare to go again.

8. Make More Time for friends
Most committed relationships seem to bite into time that was earlier spent with family or friends. Use your freedom for socializing more with your pals, preferably those who are more inclined to venturing outdoors and helping your explore more in life, including girls too!

9. Pamper Your Senses
Her absence is most likely to have increased your monthly savings too a bit. Use this extra bit of cash for indulging yourself. This includes trying a new haircut at an upscale salon or getting warm oil body massages at a spa. In fact, you could try getting a pedicure and manicure too.

10. Use the Wisdom Gained Out of Your Break-up
Another way of helping yourself get over the Ex is becoming a ‘love guru’ of sorts. Men are perennially confused by relationships. You are bound to find a few, clueless souls around you. Use the lessons learnt from different aspects of your relationship, including the break-up, to guide them. The feeling of contentment arising from this gesture can be amazingly curative.