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Girlfriend's Alcohol Issues

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Posted On - 2012-01-02

Filed Under - Health

Tags - Alcohol Issues Girlfriend's Alcohol Issues Alcohol Issues of girlfriend Dealing with your Girlfriend girlfriend alcohol addiction girlfriend Addicted to Alcohol

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You have been wondering about how to confront it, hoping and praying that it isn't true but eventually you have realized that yes, your girlfriend has serious alcohol issues that could ruin your relationship. Dealing with her alcohol issues isn't easy. A very intimidating approach could make her distant and a recluse while being too sympathetic might be simply ineffective. Read the following tips to decipher which approach could be most useful for you:

Confront Her
This is the first and the hardest part where you need to make your girlfriend realize that she has a problem and you are concerned about it. You have to tell her that social drinking and getting wasted once in a while isn't an issue with you but the kind of heavy, habitual drinking habits that she has developed are serious concerns as they can lead to physical and psychological damage. You have to tell her that she is slowly leaning towards alcohol in a manner parallel to an addict and this is the biggest reason why you have been lately feeling distant and concerned.

Don’t Threaten Her
Yes, you need to be unwavering in your stance but never threaten her. Don’t put forth clauses starting with “if” that makes it seem as if giving up drinking is the only way to ensure that you won’t dump her. This could be the biggest mistake you could do. Threatening her will only yield short-term results while confronting her with honesty about her drinking problems assures slow but sustained improvement.

Ask Her How Much It Matters
Make your girlfriend understand that it isn't a question of how others perceive her drinking habits but your genuine concern for her well-being that is making you say such bitter things. Try to cajole her into some degree of self-introspection, i.e. how much importance she associates with the relationship and whether kicking the habit is a price she is ready to pay for it.

Don’t Over-sympathize
Yes, she might sob when you confront her and she might repeatedly look like a victim when the withdrawal pangs hit her as she tries to push away alcohol. However, don’t get too sympathetic with her. Yes, you need to be her support system but you have got to make her understand that this suffering is the stepping stone towards a better life and she is responsible for the pain she is going through.

Be Harsh On Her Lies
Most people find it hard to kick away any kind of addictive habit, whether it is being needlessly logged into chatrooms or giving up alcohol. They are quite prone to lying casually and repeatedly. Every time you find that she has been lying, ensure that you are ruthless on her for breaking the trust. Don’t let such issues slip away and don’t get carried away with the fact that she might look like an absolute mess during this period. You have to maintain your composure and be an epitome of unbending authority, ready to pull her up every time she slips away.

Don’t Ask For Favors—She Has A Problem, You Don’t
Don’t make it seem like she is doing you a favor by trying to give up alcohol. The problem lies in her addictive tendencies and not yours. If you turn this exercise into something she is doing to please you, it will never bear the desired result. You have to make her understand that her that her issues need to be dealt with and you are there to support her but not at the cost of being her doormat.

Try To Help Her Heal
The physical aspect of kicking away the bottle lies in self-restraint that can seem quite effective for the first few weeks. However, many heavy drinkers return to their old habits since their drinking is actually a response to their emotional scars. You can make a sincere effort to decode whether her drinking is just indulgence or the result of some psychological pain she is hiding. If this means visiting a psychiatrist, don’t hesitate.