In the UK there are 15 million singletons; 15 million! And half of that 15 million are looking for a long-term relationship. However, one out of four people don’t even brush their teeth before a first date. So, here’s a short but effective guide on the five things you must do on a date:
Be easy:
Whilst playing hard to get looks suave and elegant, research says avoid it. Instead you should try to act available on a date. Firstly, because it’s clear you both fancy each other, otherwise why would you have agreed to go on a date? Secondly, playing hard to get doesn’t actually work. It is thought that we find people attractive when they are hard for everyone else to get, but love the fact that they are easy for us to have. Therefore on your date, try to say things like “I’ve been single for a while. It’s not that I haven’t had any offers, I just really liked you”. Or if someone asks you to dance or offers to buy you a drink, politely say no and give all your attention to your date. Make them aware that you’re a catch, but remind them that they are the one who has caught you.
Talk about yourself:
The conversation aspect of a date is scary. The thought of awkward pauses and ugly silences is enough to make anyone’s stomach churn like a washing machine. Don’t run off to a nunnery yet though guys and girls. An easy conversation to have is one that focuses on you. Talk about your past, where you grew up or where you studied. Discussing your background will not only point to values that are important to you, it will also indicate to your date the potential you have to be a long-term partner. Researchers found that the most stable relationships were built by people who had similar backgrounds and similar attitudes. Avoid talking about yourself too much though, this is one of the biggest dating no-no’s. Instead, once you’ve talked about your hometown, ask them where they first lived, or their terrible teenage fashion.
Dress to impress:
Admittedly what you look like is important, but really it’s not what you wear that counts, but how you wear it. When we decide who we fancy, body language and tone of voice are key players. So don’t fret about how you look. The key to a good outfit is one that improves your body language. Make sure the clothes you choose fit, are comfortable and practical. There are a few little tricks you can use that may help your dating success too though. Firstly, ladies if you want a second date leave your neck and your wrists bare. Guys, choose to wear fabrics like wool or silk. These soft fabrics will get your girl snuggling into you, and when she does, the soft fabric causes her brain to release oxytocin – the bonding hormone. Finally guys and girls, avoid wearing perfume. Smell is intrinsic to dating and they need a whiff of your natural scent.
Show them that you like them:
We all know body language is hugely important when dating, so use it to show your date you like them. Not only will this make them feel great, you’ll be able to judge quickly if they like you back. Women have 52 signals that tell men they’re keen, whilst guys have just 10. Ladies if you want to give him a clear message, tilt your neck to the side, lock eyes with him and touch his forearm. Or if you’re feeling really brave, touch his knee. Although cheesy, you can also subtly lick your lips. For the guys, pay attention to how you look. Checking your shirt is straight and your jacket neat may sound odd, but preening yourself is a clear indicator that you care about the girl you’re with. Also whilst you’re listening to your date, slightly raise your eyebrows, it shows you’re really interested in what she is talking about.
Surprise them:
You’ve been wined, you’ve been dined and now it may be time for a cheeky smooch. The first kiss is a deal maker or breaker for most so getting it right is important. Remember to vary your speed. Start off slowly, and then build pace before easing off again. This will keep them hooked and wanting more. If you feel the heat is dying, pop in a new move. Take the tip of your tongue and circle the tip of theirs, massaging it slightly. Do this slowly. Our lips, mouths and tongues are highly sensitive so make the most of the kiss and try new things. They’ll think you’re a kissing guru. Plus their minds will soon be turning to what you’ll be like under-the-covers. If you don’t think the kiss is coming, why not go for a cocktail? Choose a lime based drink for you and your date.
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