Funny Doctor Jokes
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Posted On - 2011-04-15
Filed Under - Jokes
Tags - Funny Doctor Jokes Doctor Jokes Jokes About Doctors doctor jokes humor funny Doctor humor best Doctor Jokes
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1.) Vasectomy Jokes
As I sit here I'm contemplating having a vasectomy, you know... the "removing" of your manhood. You know, it looks like a relatively simple procedure, heck I even asked if they had a do-it-yourself kit (true story). Afterall, $950 bucks for a 15 minute snip-snip is kinda excessive. At any rate, I won't be cutting on my balls anytime soon - but I do have some vasectomy jokes (more of a timeline of events) if you're in the same mood I am. We'll call him "Bill" and this is his story.
2.) Or What?
A man comes to his doctor and tells him that his wife hasn't had sex with him for 6 months. The doctor tells the man to bring his wife in so he can talk to her. So the wife comes into the doctors office and the doc asks her what's wrong, and why doesn't she want to have sex with her husband anymore.
3.) Tales From The Loony Bin
Funny Old ManDr. Smith recently got his doctorate in psychology and his first assignment was to visit the community loony bin retirement home for the patient's monthly mental examination.
4.) Keeping An Eye Out For The Doctor
Proctologist Rectal ExamJohn, two days before his scheduled visit to the proctologist, accidentally swallowed his glass eye when he was cleaning it. He was worried at first, but after calling his doctor and learning he probably won't get sick, he ordered another and soon forgot about it.
5.) Good Health Insurance Pays Off
A young, intelligent medical student specializing in sexual disorders decides to take a tour of a local clinic. Eager to impress a future doctor, the chief resident shows him around the facility.
6.) Birth Control Pills
An elderly woman went to her local doctor's office and asked to speak with her doctor. When the receptionist asked why she was there, she replied, "I'd like to have some birth control pills."
7.) Lawyers Are The Best Patients
Two new surgeons at the hospital were discussing the qualities of their favorite patients. "I like contractors myself" says one. "They don't even flinch when I tell them I underestimated the cost and length of surgery."
8.) Embarrassing Medical Exams
One day I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a 'massive internal fart.'
9.) Honey, I Found Your Golf Ball
A man staggers into an emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened.
10.) Surgeon’s Preference
Five surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work. It was an interesting conversation.
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